i decided to pursue physical therapy before the start of my junior year in college, but i realized that i still had a lot of requirements to do and finish (oops). looking at the timing of things, the best (and only) option for me was to take a gap year to complete all the requirements and apply for pt school…so that’s what i did 😀
going into my gap year, i knew i wanted to travel, try new things, and do stuff i enjoy. i realized that i had been serving in ministry from high school to college, and it was exhausting to live under these identities and roles and the responsibilities that came with them. they were all very great opportunities that grew and stretched me, but in the end, i knew i was going to be stripped away of everything that i had established myself with, and i needed to discover who i was outside of the titles and most importantly, i needed rest. i didn’t know how everything was going to come together, but i knew that was how i wanted to use my year. with my gap year coming to an end in a DAY – here’s a look at what i’ve been up to and what i’ve learned this past year (:
| travels |
<< may 2017 to july 2018 >>
may: austin + MD (graduations), iceland
oct: arizona, taiwan
nov: san antonio* (interview)
dec: VA + MD (interview turned fam trip), florida
march: minnesota*, MD*
april: MD (MY BROTHER GOT MARRIED HOLLA), hawaii
may: taiwan + japan, san antonio (apt hunting)
june: ireland, europe (switzerland, italy, france)
*trips i traveled by myself
p.s. my brother lives in MD so that’s why i went there so much HAHA
| fun resting |
- 18 weeks of tap dance class
- 10 classes of kick boxing
- bouldered 3x
- joined an adult small group
- traveled/explored by myself for the first time (MN)
- watched movies by myself (and got a movie pass YAS but SIGH)
- made multiple dance and song covers
- crocheted a fancy infinity scarf
- completed 4 a thousand piece puzzles
- practiced many new spiritual disciplines
- finished my photo albums
- binge watched tv shows (switched at birth, pretty little liars, white collar, sherlock)
- met up monthly with my mentor
- established an accountability partner
- did multiple escape rooms
- finished reading books (more than serving tea, crazy love, orphan train)
- and tbh probably more stuff
even though i got to travel the world and catch up on 4+ years of rest, my gap year actually came with a lot of unexpected happenings as well but ALL IS WELL because i learned a lot and grew immensely because of it.
| what happened |
- came home stripped away from all the titles/responsibilities from college
- had to figure who i was without all of that^ (my identity in Christ)
- struggled a lot with loneliness, security, identity, and worth (didn’t go to church for a good while bc of loneliness — didn’t want to sit by myself LOL)
- prepped and applied for pt school in 2 months
- went on a break then broke up with my ex
- living at home as a budding adult is hard lol
| the good stuff |
- rediscovered who i was in Christ by building a new foundation for my identity to build on during the “break” by praying and talking to God daily, talking with friends/mentor, and reflecting on worship songs/verses
- i definitely idolized the idea of companionship and thought i needed people but i only need God. friends are blessings and are great company/community but i would literally cry because i felt like i didn’t have people and i desperately needed people. but God challenged me to experience Jesus as a friend and it was honestly so refreshing (started doing things without feeling like i needed friends to do something!! can do on my own but if friends come then yay! but if not yay cuz i have Jesus!)
- i worried A LOT. whether it was about my relationship or my future. but God time and time again reassured me and provided in ways i could never have imagined.
- apps –> interviews –> acceptances. i had originally planned to visit my ex on 11/3 but because we went on a break, i wasn’t going anymore BUT THEN i got an interview that weekend and i felt like God was saying “DON’T WORRY GIRL I GOTCHU. ON A BREAK? HERE’S AN INTERVIEW AND AN ACCEPTANCE THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY” and i was like holy moly THANK YOU JESUS I DON’T DESERVE THIS. mostly because 1) my prep time 2) my gpa and resume 3) my lack of inpatient hours so praise Jesus because it was literally by the grace of God i’m going to pt school.
- the break/breakup. it was hard. like really hard. it was confusing and frustrating. i felt angry, bitter, and hurt. but over time with a lot of prayer and conversations with friends/mentor i began to experience God’s overwhelming peace over everything. i wasn’t sure what was going to happen after the break ended and i wasn’t sure where we stood once things were official but God, time and time again, showed me that i need not to worry because He’s got me and things will be okay. it’s good to think about things but not to the point where it’s consuming your life and day to day thinking and it was (and still is) a constant reminding myself to worry/think about today and tomorrow instead of also the past and the future. my small group studied philippians 4:4-7 one week and it really spoke to me regarding peace, giving thanks, and overall not worrying. even though this whole process was hard, it definitely made me lean on and trust God even more with my frustrations, doubts, and anger towards Him and the overall situation.
- my small group played a huge part in making this year a great one. a lot of the times they were the only people i interacted with, who weren’t my immediate family, during the week and it was so nice to socialize, have fellowship, and share about what i was going through with them. they were super encouraging and supportive about everything and anything but definitely during the whole break up process. there were some nights where i would suddenly cry on my way to small group, and by the time i left small group my heart would feel full just being in the presence of other believers and experiencing God’s love through them.
- choosing joy is a very real thing. i could’ve very well let the whole break up process consume me and ruin my year, but i was proactive in finding things to do (not surprising cuz i’m also a proactive person in general but yes LOL). it’s one thing to choose it but then you have to cultivate it so that it may spread to everything!! still learning and working on it, but i definitely feel like this year has been one of my more joyful years which i’m thankful for.
- moving back home means living with the parentals again. definitely a hard transition but it was good to be able to spend time with them post college despite arguments and whatnot. thankful for the opportunity to have quality time with them and also for their open hearts in letting me travel the world and pretty much potato the entire year :3
this year was hard but great all at the same time and i’m thankful for the things i experienced and learned this past year. there’s so much more that happened but i feel like these were the big stuff. if you read through all of it…kudos to you cuz that’s A LOT but also i’ve been working on this bit by bit in the wee of night haha so sentences/words may or may not be weird WHOOOO. if you didn’t, that’s okay 😛 i feel like this was, on one hand, a way for me to share about my past year and how God was so good and on the other, it was a way to document and reflect for myself how this past year was and how God worked and provided whoop whoop.
so here’s to the end of one chapter as another opens! i’m excited, nervous, and scared for what pt school holds for me, but i know it’s going to be another good year of stretching, challenging, and growing so BRING. IT. ON.
**i’m also an external processor so a lot of the times it’s hard to put my thoughts into words (also bc words are hard) and it ends up being word vomit, so while this makes a lot of sense to me, it may not to you HAHA so if you have any questions/thoughts or want to discuss anything with me – definitely hit me up!**