Toilet Thoughts: Music

20150530_184029You know how sometimes you go into the bathroom at a restaurant and sometimes they have music but sometimes they don’t? Well I used a restaurant’s bathroom today, and lo and behold…they didn’t have music. I was sitting and y’know, doing my business when it occurred to me that I actually really enjoy having music playing in public bathrooms. There’s something about the music that makes going to the bathroom enjoyable instead of sitting in either the echo of your nasties hitting the toilet bowl or the awkwardness of listening to the person next door doin’ their thang. Either way…it’s gross and uncomfortable.

Since there was no music playing in the bathroom, I was left alone with my thoughts (bad idea). It was then where I realized I get paranoid whenever I use public bathrooms. Ever since I watched Scary Movie (I don’t remember which one) when I was a kid, I can’t get that scene where some dude puts his ear against a hole in a bathroom stall and then had something drilled into his ear out of my head, and I think I’ve just been paranoid that something crazy is going to happen to me while I’m in a bathroom stall ever since then. Honestly, I think I’ve watched too many murder shows, played too many shooting games, or watched too many creepy movies because whenever I walk into a public restroom and there’s no music playing, I try to get out of the bathroom as soon as possible. Why? Because I think someone is either secretly hiding in the stall and is going to scare me or someone is going to secretly come into the bathroom and knock down my door (like in those movies where the girl hides in the stall and someone goes around kicking down each door until they find her…yeah, like said I need to stop watching those kinds of movies) or someone’s going to grab my leg from under the stall or the weird ear drilling thing is going to happen to me or I don’t know, SOMETHING. It was on the toilet seat where I was reminded how much I also really don’t like the sound of a flushing toilet. It’s loud, scary, and well, loud. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I just really can’t stand the sound of it! It makes my heart beat faster, and it just makes me want to leave the bathroom that much faster especially since there’s no music to mask the sound.

With all of those thoughts going on in my head and the additional scary flushing sound, you could imagine why I would want to get out of the bathroom and back to the safety of my table as soon as possible. BUT, if there was music playing, it would make my bathroom experience much more enjoyable. It just seems more calm, relaxed, and safe in a way, like it reassures my craziness that nothing bad’s going to happen to me while I’m in the bathroom. I don’t like being left alone with my thoughts so having music playing in the background helps distract me from these thoughts of paranoia because these thoughts ain’t pretty.

It’s kind of crazy how much actually goes on in my brain while I’m using the bathroom. Maybe you have these thoughts too (I hope you do because I don’t want to be dubbed as the ‘crazy bathroom lady’) or maybe you have other thoughts going on up there. Either way, I vote that we have music playing in all public bathrooms a thing because well…y’know.

Anywho, happy toilet thoughts! To many more toilet thoughts to come…haha.

Toilet Thoughts: Music

Toilet Thoughts: Old Times

*Disclaimer: This content includes poop.

I recently bought a box of Fiber One bars to eat as a snack during summer school, and thanks to all of the additional fiber, I’ve been pooping a lot more than I did before I got the bars (well, clearly). I don’t know about you guys, but when you poop, do you occupy yourself with something to pass the time? Maybe read a magazine? Or a newspaper? I’ve heard that some people read their Bibles! Maybe you do that too? Well for me, I’m usually on my phone, scrolling through Instagram, checking Snapchat, or looking at my news feed on Facebook, but when I don’t have my phone, I find myself making a to-do list for the rest of the day, the week, or sometimes way into the future. Then sometimes, I just think.

Anyway, long story short…I went to the bathroom today, and I didn’t have my phone. I don’t know why, but the only thing that crossed my mind while I was pooping was, “I wonder what people used to do when they pooped back in the day”. Okay yes, I know that’s weird, but I told you guys I would write whatever my brain decided to think about on this blog soooo YOU WERE WARNED. Okay, back to the poop. Honestly though, if you think about it, nowadays we have things to read and phones to look at, but people back in the day didn’t have those things so…what DID they do? Naturally, my initial question led to many other questions like, “Did they think about what they had to do for the rest of the day? Did they count the tiles on the floor? Did they just..sit there? Did they ask themselves weird questions too?” Before I could think about it anymore, I was done, and that was the end of that.

And…welcome to my brain. Now that you’ve had a little glimpse of what goes on in there, let me ask you, “What do YOU do when you poop?” Maybe you’ve never thought about it, maybe you don’t think at all, maybe you have a routine! Who knows. Actually, only you would know, but now you would really know! It may be 2 in the morning, (I should really stop blogging at this hour) and I may say and think some crazy stuff, but hey, toilet thoughts, think about it.

Toilet Thoughts: Old Times