as a dancer myself, i thought this dance would be really fun to learn and do and because i’m doing a gap year, the idea of recreating it popped up in my head because well…i have all the time in the world right now lol. but also #whynot 😛 but it doesn’t stop there, no, i then proceeded to think how i could buy a wig too and that i did.
i spent countless hours recording and editing my videos, and i finished it last night. after i posted it on social media, i laid in bed intrigued by the idea of boldness.
it’s funny really.
i spent roughly 10 hours DANCING in public wearing an afro wig and honestly if you saw me from the back, you’d think i’d look like an asian mom hahaha. not to mention these dance moves were pretty outrageous (in a good way). and while, yes, i did feel utterly ridiculous, i was also like SCREW IT IT’S FUN THIS IS FUN I’M FUN. like it was so ridiculous that the circumstances didn’t even matter haha. and then to top it off – i post it online HAHA. but i genuinely wanted to make this video purely for my own enjoyment so maybe that’s why i was more okay with being bold in the sense of dressing up in crazy outfits and dancing wildly in public – who knows 😛
[but let’s explore that a bit.]
even though i’m a dancer i don’t like to dance in public/in front of friends (i.e. those big dance circles that form at dance parties), and there will be other times where i don’t want to wear certain things in public (examples escape me atm rip) but then i ran around my college campus dressed in a white rabbit costume to help market my organization so really, who knows????
in other cases i’m super closed off and shy like when i enter a big room filled with lots of people and i’m supposed to meet + greet but i’m too shy to say anything or even at a store/restaurant and i just get so nervous to say what i need/want to say in that moment. but then there are moments where i will say whatever it is with total ease…
//that got me thinking…why was i able to be so bold in some cases but not all of them?//
i definitely feel less scared/more bold when i have another person with me. so when i had my wig on – i felt less timid because i wasn’t alone.
maybe it’s a heart thing like in my previous post about going to the movies by myself – where my heart overrules my brain and it’s just like SCREW IT.
or maybe it’s the audience? if i’m being ridiculous in front of people i know, i feel like i can be more bold and upfront with who i am but i’m more closed off to strangers. but that could go the flip side too of i can be as crazy as i want because they’re strangers and i’ll never see them again shrugs – many possibilities whoooooo.
in other times it may be my current mood/situation – am i feeling more extroverted or introverted, what is the current need and do i absolutely need to interact with said person/people, or am i simply just tired lol.
like everything else in the world – i don’t think it’s so black and white. i think it depends on so many factors like i just mentioned and there are countless more that i couldn’t think of i’m sure, but i dunno – i just found it so interesting to recount the times where i was and wasn’t bold and how different each case was and it intrigued me so.
it really takes you in for a spin, doesn’t it?