i don’t understand why i feel these feels
my thoughts, desires it all calls for you
so i find myself wondering, wandering
near and far
i shouldn’t want you, like you
but i still do, i do
it’s infuriating, tiring
please stop i can’t
// do you still like me, do you still care?
do you miss me, us? think of what could’ve been? //
please stop i can’t
i still think about the good, the bad
the fairy tale that once was
a nightmare of a song that never seems to end
but i shouldn’t, it’s over
you’ve made that quite clear
i should be happy and glad that this is all done
that i’ve dodged this bullet, my life is spared
but the wounds i have from the stabs i got
are healing still, no scars appear
i wish i had said so many more things to you
to unleash my wrath, my rage, FIRE
and make known the depth of your mistakes, my sorrow, MY GRIEF
but i didn’t, i’m nice, i care
you’re receiving something undeserving
grace, it’s not fair
but no you’re a child
pouting on the side
your candy taken, stolen
you feel tossed aside
you’re angry and sour
eating lemons for meals
upset at something that you say i have done
but oh my goodness, how more wrong can you be?
just own up to what you’ve done, what you’ve done to me
you’ve made your mark, you’ve made your choice
you’ve wiped your hands clean and silenced my voice
and your actions have consequences
things you don’t want to see
so instead you place blame and turn the other cheek
but answer me this and answer me now
why are you playing victim on something you’ve caused?
why are you annoyed at me who YOU hurt?
you’re the one who hurt me yet it still feels like i’m wrong
how is that the inflictor is inflicted by the inflicted one
be humble, empathetic, oh wait you can’t be
for your heart, its hardened from life, people, this, and me
but news flash, special report, psa, HELLO?
you have so much more growing growth to do
you think you’re all that, justified and true
but you fail to care, to realize that the selfish one is you
that you’re too prideful to accept your wrongs, your dues
for my words they fall on only deaf ears
half listening, not understanding
you say i hear you but with what ears
i’m over it, i’m not, i should be, i’m not
i hate how my thoughts and my heart linger on you
like raindrops on your window
going, going, gone
i wish things were different
i wish you were different
better, wiser, what you made yourself out to be
but you weren’t, aren’t, i see through the facade
so yeah, “friend”
this one is on you
a loud whisper of thoughts 